just be it Just Be It is a practice of presence that recognizes the limits of language. When aware of silence there is a state of inner still alertness. You are wholeheartedly present.

Throughout the day, how often to I feel ‘full’.  Brother David Steindl Rast speaks of ‘great fullness’.  There’s a place where we make space to be grateful for what is.  The human condition is filled with restlessness.  No sooner do we get what we grasped for and we’re grasping for something else.  Our work is to ‘want to be here’, but the restless mind is grasping for anything but here.  That’s where the benefits of a meditation practice come in.  If we can reduce attachment of thought to what was or to thoughts of what is yet to come we can settle into the peace of just being here, in this moment.  Here in this moment, grateful for the opportunity to participate, we touch a deeper peace.

How many times have we thought, “I’ll be happy when …..”, or “I’ll be happy if ……”.  Why not just be happy?  This is possible when we still our thoughts, appreciating the gift of the next arising breath, just wanting to be here.  It’s also a great way to approach our life with a deeper sense of stewardship.  When I have great fullness there’s a sense of responsibility that comes in the form of ‘taking care’.  In awareness to this we can see what actions feed this fullness and which ones deplete it.  Do the foods I ingest feed a healthy sense of fullness or am I left with greater craving?  Does the music I listen to or the movies/TV I watch leave me with a greater sense of peace or with more restlessness?  In my relations with others, can I come and go in peace, or am I continually grasping for more or less?  Often our restlessness comes from wanting others to validate our belief or ‘rightness’.  If we can allow them their reality construct, holding stability/balance in our spiritual practice, we can more easily hold awareness to the present moment, more carefully monitoring our speech and actions to health rather than harm and separation.

So this mantra of, “I want to be here, now.  Nothing is missing.  I have a great sense of fullness.” works well for me.  It settles down the grasping mind so often filled with thoughts of deficiency.  It fills me with respect and awe for that which is bigger than me, bowing in gratitude for the opportunity to just be.

I’m just coming off a four day meditation retreat and had a couple insights I wanted to share.  The leader of this retreat comes from the Soto Zen tradition of Buddhism.  It was a silent retreat, except for the teacher’s dharma talk.  We begin sitting at six in the morning, interspersed with walking meditation, mindful meals and work practice, dismissing at nine in the evening.  During this time, the mind has various levels of restlessness.  I personally found great strength in the early mornings and seemed to note reduced awareness as the day progressed and my posture slackened.  Two months previous I had sustained a strong blow to my ribs and there was chronic pain in this area that seemed to grow near the fifth sitting.  In a personal interview, I questioned Dokai, the head teacher about this.  “Should I just be with the pain and watch it?”  My intention was to stay with the breath, but this sensation kept drawing me away.  Well, you’ll never get a ‘yes/no’ answer in Zen, but he gave me the information I needed to work through the discomfort and it’s what I’ve become passionate about: posture.

Instructions for zazen are very specific about posture.  Form a solid triangle base with legs and buttocks. “Sit up and straighten your back as if you were pushing your buttocks firmly into the cushion.  Keep you neck straight and pull in your chin.  Project your head as if it were going to pierce the ceiling.  Relax your shoulders.  Your ears should be in line with your shoulders and your nose in line with your naval.  Everything, trunk, back, neck and head is straight when you sit zazen.  Zazen is aiming to hold a living and vital posture.”, excerpted from Approach to Zen by Uchiyama Roshi.  Many of these same instructions come into play in my yoga practice as we find alignment, chest out, shoulders relaxed, back shoulder wings coming closer together.

So this posture is what we aim for, yet through the course of days’ gravity we may begin to lose this posture.  As we tire and/or thoughts fill our head, we may begin to bend.  This was happening with me.  Dokai instructed me to aim more resolutely to correct posture.  Going back to the cushion I put renewed awareness to this posture and found my capacity to stay with the present moment’s breath arising.  I became aware of how I had lost the slight inverse curvature of the lower spine and imaged with stronger determination pushing my buttocks into the cushion.  Once again, the gift of an injury was my signal to steward my posture back to correct alignment.

Dokai referenced a phrase from ancient Buddhist text that resonated with me.  When asked why we do zazen, the reply was “unborn security”.  I was once shown the depth roots go and was amazed with how some drill thirty feet just to be able to weather a severe drought.  This is such a good investment, coming from thousands of years of wisdom.  Practice an upright posture with grace and equanimity so you can move through life’s difficulties without making a mess of things.  When we lose our posture, we’re more likely to lose our balance.  Losing our balance, building momentum of negative thought and emotion, we’re likely to fall over.  Dokai acknowledged how we all will say good bye to our bodies.  He hoped his practice, this “unborn security” would serve him well in bringing keen awareness to his last inhalation and his last exhalation.

I’ve asked my wife to watch my posture and challenge me to correct it.  This is what community is for.  We support each other in life practices so we’re less likely to fall over when the earthquake happens.  A well stewarded life gains momentum in finding solid posture even if we do fall over to get back up.

The illusion is that I somehow “am” this body and this mind, somehow separate in my sense of ownership.  Yet, in truth, I have no idea about who I was before entering this body or what/who I’ll be when this body wears out.  As my awareness deepens to the illusion of thoughts, I can see how they are just mental formations that can carry me further and further from the reality of the next arising moment.  Yet, there’s a truth that forever keeps feeding this consciousness, a command to Love in the face of the delusive separating mind.  At the end of the day we seem to find the journey wasn’t about some spiritual linear achievement but about our capacity to choose Love.  At the end of our occupation of this body we all surrender it, we all experience the body’s wearing out, we all say good bye to our friends/family/stuff, and we all have the wake of actions taken while inhabiting this body.  At some point we come to see the journey wasn’t about what we have, what we’ve achieved, or how much people seem to like us.  Our peace or misery comes from a review of how dedicated we’ve been in dropping our obstacles to Love.

A spiritual practice dedicated to dropping the illusion of a separated ego seems essential.  Some have referred to this process as ‘self settling into Self’.  Actions directed from Self are without exception driven from Love.  Any notion of ownership appears absurd and there’s a sense of radical humility in the less obstructed journeyman.  The lower vibration of the separated mind more frequently moves from fear.  Caught in perceptions of ‘right’, the wake of these actions is usually turbulent, disharmonious, and out of rhythm to the beauty of the Divine.  Interestingly, those choosing Love (Oneness) by definition must drop their obstacles to those choosing Fear (Twoness).  There can be no exception to One just as there can be no exception to choosing Love.

So where does violence begin; where is opportunity robbed; where is harm done?  Without exception, harm occurs when actions move from a sense of separation.  Violence begins where the sense of belonging stops.  The practice is to forever deepen the sense of interconnection.  The perception of helping or hurting another vanishes as we deepen the felt sense of Oneness, helping or hurting self as Self.  In choosing Love, the choice seems to be full acceptance of the moment, no matter what.  Instead of ‘my’ body, it’s ‘this’ body, gifted to me, meeting ‘this’ moment, gifted to me.  The mind’s work is to dig for the gift of what’s given.  The will is needed to make space for drilling into the mystery of what ‘is’.  Meditation/prayer seem to be the best process.

The aim is to drop obstacles to Love, to live in appreciation for what’s been given, to meet others’ restlessness as our own, to forgive mistakes, to have the courage to openly meet new arising moments free from judgment, yet forever motivated from Love and our sense of interconnection.

The journey…..to drop our obstacles to Love.

The gift…the opportunity to participate.

The result…sustainable joy and a rhythmic/harmonious wake.

When the mind leaves Love (the Divine), obstacles appear.

When we can come to that place where we’re on our knees in gratitude for everything, when we can release our ego’s claim to knowing, where we can humble ourselves to ever think we can define or fully describe God, where we can touch the felt presence of that which is beyond, we touch peace.  Spiritual integration has deep respect for all as gift.  There is a sense of wonder with each opportunity of breath.  There is a discipline to pause in finding the gift of the given.  At this point negativity evaporates, energy increases, and a sense of equanimity fills the body/mind.  At this point one truly experiences the mystery in all, the ignorance from our separated thoughts diminishes and we come to wholeness, healed past our notions of being alone.  As Rumi has written, at this point we step into a field beyond notion of right knowing and wrong knowing, ready to explore the mystery together.  At this point we surrender the potential violence that comes from our beliefs and opinions.  At this point, through spiritual integration, we find our humanity.

The Practice of Wanting to Be Here

My seven year old grandson periodically has difficult moments when anger rises up within him. As children, sometimes the urge to grow our anger seems uncontrollable. There’s a restlessness that seems to well up, an unpleasant thought about something not going the way we expected, etc., and we end up acting on our anger, making a mess of things. My grandson will raise his voice, use unpleasant words, and sometimes wish unpleasant events to those in his presence. I recently asked him if he thought anger ever worked. He couldn’t think of a time and he acknowledged how it always makes things worse.

So can we stop anger? That would be as silly as thinking we could stop thought. Anger comes up and what we do with it determines the quality of our life. There’s an old story called “Solomon’s Wisdom” where three critical pieces of wisdom are handed out. The last is “save your anger for another day”. The story stresses the need to not act on our anger, humbled to the truth that we never have all the information. We’re advised to look at the anger, in patience see how it changes. In most instances, over time, the anger diminishes and new emotions/thoughts arise. My grandson said that sometimes the anger is still there the next day. I told him that we can continue to watch it, and if we can’t stop feeding it we may need to address the problem, but best to do it with the help of a third, neutral party. Our work is to see how the anger grows when we feed it with negative thoughts and how it diminishes when we return to gratitude for the present moment. I told him that this is some of the hardest work we have to do as humans. It’s so natural to feed our unsatisfactoriness, to fuel complaint, and grow our negative emotions. But it never sustains our joy and most often makes a big mess of things.

Noticing anger doesn’t make a mess of things. It’s how we act with this anger that results in complicated lives lacking the joy that’s possible. The strength to not act with intention to harm comes from spiritual security. It’s the basis of the Christian command to love our enemy, the basic premise that we aim to cause no harm since we are each other. The strength and courage to do this comes from the authority of the heart. While the head concocts all the reasons to act on our anger, the heart knows how to move from a sense of equanimity and peace. The heart leads us through difficult situations with the skill of a surgeon’s trained hands. It’s very delicate work, but when we pause, listen to the heart, and move forward with care, we avoid making a disaster of things.

Anger has momentum similar to fire. This is why awareness training is critical to a joyful life. Once we start feeding negative emotion and/thought, the momentum builds just as a fire grows from adding fuel. Awareness helps us identify what’s happening so we can let the negative go and return to balance and harmony, just as putting out a fire from withholding fuel. For my grandson, once the momentum has reached a certain point there’s no way to put out the fire except to remove him from the situation with a ‘time out’. Many of us need a ‘time out’. I work with men at a prison who experience a big time out. Over the years they come to see how acting from anger made a huge mess of their lives. They’ve come to see how they would have done things differently given the information they now have. Had they ‘saved their anger for another day’ they would have discovered new information coming to light. Had they developed an awareness training practice, they would have better caught the negative thought/emotion before it gained the momentum that led to their destructive action.

It seems that we’re here to hold our balance, help one another, and at the least, avoid hurting one another. The natural human condition of restlessness clearly shows how we’re all involved in pushing things away or grasping for things, providing the fuel for our negative thoughts/emotions. Our hope comes in knowing we can catch these early before momentum has its way with us. With awareness, we can catch them at their seed, let them go, and return to positive thoughts/emotions more in line with the present moment, with meeting things as there are, resulting in skillful actions that minimize/reduce/eliminate harm.

In summary, I’ve found that growing my anger has never worked and when momentum builds to a point where I act on it, it never goes well. The use of anger through action spiritually is never justified. I’m now sixty-three years old and consider myself a novice in this practice. For your health, the health of our children and grandchildren, it’s my hope that we put a big focus on awareness training, noticing how we can grow or diminish these negative thoughts and feelings. It’s the difference between having a quality life filled with peace or a messy life filled with violence and discomfort.

I know so many friends who are deep in their suffering. There’s tremendous stress that comes from their restlessness to be somewhere else or to have a different situation. For some it’s unemployment, giving rise to much space to feed the restless mind. For others it’s a serious illness that challenges their notions of ‘forever’. In all cases, it’s the mind wrestling with the Law of Impermanence. Everything changes, moment by moment. The quality of my life revolves around my willingness and capacity to embrace what comes, to breath in gratitude for the gift of what’s given, and eventually fill with joy and enthusiasm fed from the opportunity to participate within this next arising moment.

When I was young my parents taught me a prayer that forced me to face the reality that some day, I too, would die.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

This simple prayer really, really worked for me. I woke with joy and enthusiasm for the gift of another day, no matter what. It gave me the ‘felt’ sense that I am more than my body, that I’m more than this limited time in it. Today I have to ask my friends, “Is what you’re doing to face your suffering working for you?” Most of the time they’re not curious about what’s worked for me. I’m now living sixty years in this body and feel somewhat obligated to share what’s been discovered in truth through 100% working for me. I don’t mean 90% or 80%. This is learning that goes to the core of the soul, touching flesh and bones, resonating with every cell within the body. It’s learning that deepens with every breath, moving in alignment with the belly and the heart. It’s learning verified through aware doing in full alignment to Being. So dear friend, “Is what you’re doing working for you?” If affirmative, I suspect you’ve stopped reading this. If not, where’s your curious mind? Here are a few things that always work for me.

If I want to make space for something new to come in my life I have to be filled with acceptance for what ‘is’. This means filled with acceptance for what I have, do, and experience within this moment.

My life is about ‘waking up’. My awareness to this moment requires work. There’s a practice that commands focus, precision and obedience. My mind is continually creating thoughts of ‘not wanting’, of ‘dis-ease’. I have a choice of trying to avoid this moment or ‘trying to fix’ this moment. Yet, peace comes when I face and accept this moment as opportunity to participate. This gratitude work yields a higher vibration, one of joy. The higher vibration removes obstacles and I can embrace life with energy. By accepting this moment as it ‘is’ I’m no longer separated and a huge space opens to receive what’s new. I’m pulled to be around those who accept, are in joy and especially those who are enthusiastic about the next arising moment.
Be amazed for the grace we’ve received. I’ve had several experiences where my life in this body should have ended. This brush with an end to my time in this body has made me more aware of life. I think anyone who’s lived sixty years has seen how precious our time is within these bodies, has seen or faced death, and now realizes our work is to ‘wake up’. Amazing Grace has become a very special song for me as I fill with joy for waking to the gift of this moment.
Sometimes you may not know what your instrument is. In my early years I thought I knew what would make me happy. My desire mind created a craving. I deeply desired to play guitar and to fly jet planes. I was gifted the trumpet, harmonica, hang gliding, windsurfing, and kiteboarding. I didn’t know how much I wanted children and grand children until I had them. They now feed my joy beyond imagination. My deepening relationship with my wife, mother and grandmother to these children, has found new territory never expected in my early years. It’s softer and more tolerant, and much more accepting to the ‘new beginning’ within this second half of life. Whether it’s family, boardsports, or music, this life is richer because of the joy I find in deepening the rhythm and harmony of our song. Again, it takes focus, precision and obedience to a ‘practice’ that cultivates the bigger sense of belonging. One of my teachers called this Big Hope. A famous trumpet teacher said, “When the mind leaves the tone, obstacles appear.” A Zen teacher said, “Life is about removing obstacles and going deeper.” I now know that intellect knowledge is very shallow. The real learning comes from dedicated attention that absorbs into the flesh and bones, touching every atom and cell within the body. The joy found in this learning is beyond the imagination, limitless, and filled with curiosity/mystery.
In the midst of the restless mind, patience is huge. I’m finally improving my capacity to pause. ‘Hot’ emotions have generally followed a restless, reactive mind. Things always go better when I embrace the ‘feeling’, let go the growing of negative as I witness ‘change’, aim to ‘stillness’, and eventually move to action that at the minimum does not harm. This requires letting go the need to fix, to be right, to defend, and to change a situation or person. It’s once again refining the capacity to rest in uncertainty, seeing the delusion of resolution. It requires returning to the matt for deepening into reception of the ‘rising moment’. Poof! Here it is. Yes! Thank you! Joy returned.

Dear Universe (God, Source, Love)

Thank you for this restless mind and the struggles I’ve engaged to settle you down. From that struggle I’ve come to where I am now. Thank you for showing me the silliness found in attaching to ‘my story’. I’m so happy to rest in faith, love, and the felt sense of Big Hope. Touching the infinite, it’s all dance, letting go the critical mind in joy that I’m better than I was. Thanks for showing me that judgement is my biggest obstacle to love, to the felt sense of belonging. This has given me the strength to stand in the presence of another’s suffering, the courage to move into unfamiliar territory. It’s given me the wisdom to find new space when thoughts arise creating negative emotions. It’s shown me the power in tasting the future ‘now’. Why wait when heaven is here, in ‘this’ moment. The ordinary is no more, nothing taken for granted as all becomes perceived as extraordinary. Thank you for the joy found in cultivating awareness to your Presence within my Being. I am not my stuff. I am not my achievements. I am not separate. I am the tone. I am the breath, the dance, the harmony, the rhythm, the Divine. I can not be separated and consequently relish this moment free from the fear of eventually surrendering this body. Thank you for what Carols Castanada calls ‘the active side of infinity’. Thank you for the taste of peace.

No body— before I had a body and after I let this body go

Some body— I have this body

Some body else— I am aware that I’m connected to more than my body

Take nothing for granted.
You’re entitled to nothing.
Don’t complain.
Cultivate your relationship to this moment with obedience to a diligent practice.
Meditate from the heart or belly.

This work, cultivating depth through deeper living, stewardship and good food, helps slow energy dissipation so you can progress along the way in this body—being/doing to your fullest.

Trees want to grow old and strong and then a beetle comes…or drought. The chances for slowed entropy increase for the tree who’s paid most attention to stewarding those around him, roots reaching out for mutual support.
Mountains exist because their rock was slower to dissipate. Yet, erosion happens, but it’s slower with the commitment of a mountain.
Nothing dies. It just changes. Nothing disappears. It just changes. Nothing stops. It’s forever in motion. Change varies according to our vibration. It’s either fast or slow, high or low.
It’s good to cultivate a higher vibration that smashes our restlessness. It’s good to cultivate space to strengthen our felt sense of Unity. It’s good to break our addiction to busyness, our ‘too busy to Be’ mind set.

More on your body.
Your somebody is your body.
Give it your dedicated stewardship.
Never criticize it. It’s doing everything it can to help you catch up to the beauty of response for the gift of your materialization.
If you have any sense of lack-ness, not enough-ness…Stop it!
This is a ‘dis’ on the grace you’ve been bestowed. It’s a disgrace.
Rather, cultivate gratitude from the grace received to manifest in this body.
Our work is to be in joy. Enjoy is tied to pleasure and the consumptive mind. We’re forever left in the vacuum of desire. Joy is sustainable, even as we move through the earthquakes of life. When ‘in joy’ I make my best effort to love all life, to leave a gentle wake with minimal harm.

Quality living is about cultivating first hand information from the Divine. You can function with second and third hand information, attached to beliefs and dogmas. I want to taste the direct experience, outside the thought mind, aiming to reduce my felt moments of separation.

I have found ‘to be/do’ my best requires opening to the nonverbal/nonlinguistic experience…beyond thought. Best performance of an action commands commitment to steer from thought, any thought. A thought removes us from the power of flow (from coincidence/co-inciding) which is purely nonverbal surrender into the receiving of ‘this’ arising moment in 100% fullness.

For sure, this requires thought, practice, rehearsal, vow, obedience, commitment, etc., before we can surrender in flow, grateful for the unity of action outside of time and space, outside judgment from the critical mind and all its birthed obstacles.

There have been so many wonderful souls who’ve come in and out of my life. This last day of the year is a special time to reflect on them and the gifts they’ve given through their presence. Auld Lang Sign Syne is a beautiful tune that captures the sentiment.

Auld Lang Syne

Having maintained a meditation and yoga practice for the past forty-four years, I have such deep respect for the benefits of these practices. This video, with a focus on the transformational aspects of yoga, captures some great commentary on breath, balance, awareness, and peace. Thanks to those who put this video together.

Why We Breathe – A Yoga Documentary from BackToAwake on Vimeo.

Shine On

What are those things you do that give lasting joy? Our consumer driven society works us all day long trying to sell us on pleasure. Yet, this inevitably has short term effect, yielding a vacuum and increased desire for the next thing. I’m talking about those activities we engage in that feed a lasting sense of well being. So often, when we’re filled with restlessness, we may resort to unhealthy eating, shopping, various spectator entertainments, intoxicants, etc. Yet, after engaging these pleasures we feel worse than we did before. We know this restlessness is part of the human condition. No one is immune. We’re either pulled to wanting what we had or pushed to desiring what’s not in front of us. Yet, our real joy is to fully engage the moment with a gratitude orientation for the opportunity to just participate in this life.

I wish someone would develop an app that would quantify our sense of restlessness vs. our sense of well being. The more we cultivate our awareness, the better we get at sensing this felt sense of well-being. We’re repeatedly directed by our spiritual teachers to do what we can to move away from negative emotions and thoughts. We know that the more we attach to negatives, the more we suffer. The more we put attention to the moment and to gratitude for the opportunity to participate, the less we suffer. For some people, this process comes naturally. For most of us, it’s hard work that requires daily practice. Making a ‘joy list’ is an essential part of this practice. When negative feelings come up, do we go for short term pleasure or mindful practice of those skills that increase our awareness and sense of well being?

For me, I loved chocolate, ice cream, beer, crusty breads, and candy. Sometimes I’d try to comfort myself with these foods. Sometimes I corrupted any experience of the present moment because my thoughts were entangled with my addiction to these foods. For me, these were pleasure foods that had negative consequence. I enjoyed them in my mouth, but later my body was confused from my lack of awareness. I shifted my food consumption emphasis from the pleasure sensation of the mouth to the feeling of well-being from the nourishment of the food. I’m continually amazed at our lack of regard to the ‘feeling’ of well being or pain following our consumption of various foods. Some call my abstinence from chocolate and ice cream ‘will power’. It is. It’s my will to nourish my body for a long term felt sense of joy.

So when the restless, complaining, ‘not enough’ mind turns on, what do you do? Do you go for the short term pleasure, or sustained sense of well being? Do you increase your suffering or reduce it? Do you move from pain to numbness, or pain to awareness?

Some people have asked me about my ‘joy list’ as an example. Here’s a list of some of my favorites.

Review photos of my family, recalling gifts of the past, recognizing the fleeting moments in this live and just making space to acknowledge how so many have been such great support to my joy and sense of well being.

Meditate daily. The mind is a very dangerous thing as we’re so often entangled in negative thoughts. It takes tremendous discipline and skill to pause, to cultivate the silence between thoughts, and to allow the presence of that which is much bigger than our ego’s attempt to identify us as separate from the Divine. While I practice at least thirty minutes each morning, whenever restlessness comes upon me with negative emotions, I know I can meditate to once again discover lasting feelings of well being.

Yoga. This body that gets me around is the only one I have or will have. It’s huge mystery and performs so many functions beyond my awareness. A daily practice of yoga provides lasting joy as I develop greater awareness to the body, deeper listening, and cultivate a stewardship to lasting health. I consistently find a greater sense of well-being from all moving meditation practices, but have particularly found a place for yoga.

Breath instruments. A deeper sense of well-being is very much dependent upon breath and our awareness to it. Centered, balanced breath that comes from deep within the diaphragm provides great stability for meeting ‘what comes up’. My primary breath instrument is the trumpet. Even though I started playing at the age of eight, each moment the mouthpiece touches my lips, it’s new. Breath is the most important element. This awareness of depth, balance, and centeredness transfers to my secondary instruments, harmonica and voice. Whenever negative emotions and thoughts seem to be grabbing me, I know I can go to these instruments for relief.

Engaging in an activity with intention to relieve another from suffering. I know my healing from suffering is best fed from doing what I can to make myself available to others for the purpose of easing their pain. I’m particularly filled with a sense of well being when meeting pain and suffering of those who’ve been oppressed. When I can actually do something that creates opportunity for someone who’s freedom to participate has been obstructed, my sense of well being soars. When I can feel their imprisonment as mine rather than taking a ‘fix it’ attitude, my sense of participation leads to lasting joy, just for having met their suffering. In short, compassion yields deep joy when we have the courage to engage in it.

Boardsports. There’s something about putting my entire bodyweight on a single surface that alleviates my suffering. This activity takes great awareness, attention to the moment, and balance that challenges us in new ways. When caught in my mind’s restlessness, I always know that engaging in boardsport will bring me to greater sense of well-being, whether Stand Up Paddle, windsurfing, kitesurfing, skateboarding, wakeboarding, or snowboarding. The kinesthetic focus on ‘cultivating stability on an unstable platform’ is great practice and preparation for meeting the surprise of the next moment.

Engaging others in deeper conversations. While I get temporary joy from surface socializing with friends, the lasting sense of well-being comes from deeper conversations with those who are also exploring their spiritual journey. Conversations with curious, open minded and vital people feeds my soul and sense of well being in a very rich way. I find it helpful to have a list of those people willing to do this. It’s like going to church with an adventuresome mind, willing to ask deeper questions, forever humbled to life’s mystery.

Take a nap. Sometimes fatigue comes upon me. Taking a brief nap (about twenty minutes), can often change my sense of well-being, feeding me with new energy for meeting the next moments of the day.
Mindful consumption. I know I can improve my sense of well-being by holding awareness to foods and/or drinks which nourish and sustain. This is especially helpful when done with others from a sense of gratitude and community.

Engage nature. Taking a walk, ski, bike, or board into nature always improves the sense of well-being. Several in the mind/body health field recommend a minimum of thirty minutes in nature each day for a balanced life. When I’m particularly carried with negative thoughts and emotions, this is my ‘go to’. Get outside, breath deep, and just keep moving. It’s extremely effective at helping me to get bigger than the problem, even when the problem seems big.

Gratitude practice. Did you know that joy is a necessary consequence of gratitude? No matter how much pain and complaint we may be caught in, when we move to gratitude we increase our sense of well being. Try it. I was told this by a Benedictine monk when I was over fifty years old. It should be taught to every child at an early age. What parent doesn’t want their child to be happy? Well, here’s a practice that can do this. Yet, it is a skill that requires practice. When caught with feelings of ‘not enough’, ‘make space to find the gift in the given’. Some have said it’s not about getting what you want, but rather, wanting what you get. This practice at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day provides great momentum for lasting joy and sense of well being.

These are a few things on my list. They’re my ‘go to’ when negative emotion grabs me. No doubt, I’ve got my short term pleasures. Yet, over the years, I’ve seen how they’ve not served me, and so often, have harmed me. If this article has helped you think about your list, I’m happy. We all suffer. Our work is to let go and engage in practices that feed our sense of joy and well being. Throughout the day we’re tossed by the winds of change, moving from pleasure to pain, gain to loss, praise to criticism, fame and disrepute. We get ourselves in trouble when we step from our calm, joy and sense of well being. Life goes better when we can move from a sense of spiritual security, with balance and equanimity, holding a feeling of well being, no matter what. I hope you’ll consider your joy list after reading this. Do it when you’re feeling a strong sense of well being. Write it down. Make it your ‘go to’ when things get rough. Holding our light when an earthquake happens works better when we’ve cultivated our joy list.