just be it Just Be It is a practice of presence that recognizes the limits of language. When aware of silence there is a state of inner still alertness. You are wholeheartedly present.

The temptation of feeling loved is to blame another for the loss of that feeling.  When suffering happens, when things fall apart, and when change happens in such painful ways, maybe then I’m tempted to question my faith.  In her book, Speaking of Faith, Krista Tippett references the authentic words of Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel.  She references his questioning of faith in a passage from Wiesel’s Night. He spoke to a loss of desire to live and horrific moments when brutal human acts seemed to murder his God.  Yet, he went on praying, and presented her with the following prayer:

I no longer ask You for either happiness or paradise; all I ask You is to listen

and let me be aware of Your listening.

I no longer ask You to resolve my questions, only to receive them and make them part of You.

I no longer ask You for either rest or wisdom, I only ask You not to close me to gratitude, be it of the most trivial kind, or to surprise and friendship.  Love?  Love is not Yours to give.

As for my enemies, I do not ask You to punish them or even to enlighten them; I only ask You not to lend them Your mask and Your powers.  If You must relinquish one or the other, give them Your powers.  But not Your countenance.

They are modest, my requests, and humble.  I ask You what I might ask a stranger met by chance at twilight in a barren land.

I ask You, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to enable me to pronounce these words without betraying the child that transmitted them to me:  God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, enable me to forgive You and enable the child I once was to forgive me too.

I no longer ask You for the life of that child, nor even for his faith.  I only beg You to listen to him and act in such a way that You and I can listen to him together.

Wiesel’s words highlight the tremendous power of gratitude and forgiveness practice.  This practice is founded in deep, open listening.  It’s grounded in the ‘felt’ sense of never being alone.  Can it be that lasting joy is cultivated through our awareness to and relationship with the present moment as we forever drill deeper in gratitude and forgiveness?

So what do I want?  Short term limited pleasure or long term unlimited joy?

How has my quest for short term pleasure impacted my quest for long term joy?

Unlimited lasting joy sources from gratitude and the ‘feeling’ of never Being alone, always being listened to.

It seems that two of our most important questions are:

1. What’s my relationship with this present moment?
2. Do I feel loved?

Most of our restlessness and stress revolves around a bad relationship to the present moment.  We’re either wishing we were someplace we were or anticipating a place we’re going to, missing the surprise of the moment.

The next question is perhaps more tricky.  If I ‘feel’ loved, then by whom?  If it’s a feeling from another being, am I preoccupied with what it was or fear about it’s possible loss?  Or is it a bigger feeling?  Perhaps it’s more a feeling of Big Hope and a bigger belonging.  As the surface events of the day encounter a variety of rapids and eddies, can I hold a ‘feeling’ of being loved, with one foot on the ocean floor, grounded in the joined response, not taken by life’s surface disturbances?

This may be the big pull for theistic religions.  It’s something that works me deeply.  I feel great joy and comfort in a personal divine Being who has my best interests at heart.  The arms of sacred love can never betray me if I dedicate to cultivating my relationship and my gratitude for the gift of the arising moment.  Yet, a feeling of  ‘being loved’ from a smaller group will always run the course of entropy, tied to the realm of form and the material.

So, here I am in deep loving relationship to Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, and the other great divine Beings who’ve blessed me.  My physical response to this love seems to resonate most with Jesus, yet my most intimate spiritual experiences have had a distinct feminine feel to them.  So I pray and give thanks for this gift of opportunity to participate, to curiously explore the realm of spirit, mind and body, forever drilling deeper in this journey.

I see the poison in greed, ignorance and fear and how they play one another.  In greed, I’ve lost my relation to the present, forever thirsting for ‘more’.  Poof, another moment lost, another unintended harmful action.  In ignorance, I’ve locked into a static notion of an answer.  This is different from living faith.  This is fixation on thinking I know, holding to my notion of being ‘right’.  Ignorance is overcome by a curios mind, forever willing to actively listen for a deeper question.  And fear is expression of my lack of ‘feeling’ love.  It’s a response of feeling separate, unjoined from the Divine.

So, if I can embrace the present moment in surprise, in felt sense of being loved, my only response is that of full gratitude for the gift of opportunity.  Now, this breath.  Again, this breath…knowing I’m loved…knowing these breaths are limited…knowing it’s a rare gift to experience consciousness…this moment…knowing I’m in you and you’re in me and all is in all, forever bathed in the feeling of ‘being loved within the divinity of the moment’s arising’.

Cultivating the ‘Feeling of Being Loved’

When I can reflect on the ‘presence’ of ancestors who came before and upon future ancestors I’ll never meet while in this body, I’m warmed.  Friends who’ve loved me beyond conditions, parents, grandparents I may never have met, someone I touched who may never had a chance to say what it meant…this ‘feeling’ comes up.  And it’s my fuel for ‘Big Hope’, for knowing nothing disappears, I’m never separated, forever, each moment, filled with a deeper sense of belonging, of mattering.  This ‘feeling’ of the Divine within all comes and goes.  But I can grow it by taking pause, reflecting on the felt response of being loved…of Being…filled with gratitude for the opportunity of this breath, of this consciousness.

As energy dissipates, it’s easy to slip into depression.  There’s great pain in feeling things will never be the same.  The Law of Impermanence seems to be what fuels our drive to ‘wake up’.  Wherever we look, the Second Law of Thermodynamics is at work, energy dissipating and the apparent felt separation from what was.  We hit the bell and perceptually notice the disappearance of sound.  And yet, we now know the sound never disappears.  We now know that nothing disappears, it just dissipates its energy of vibration.  No doubt, we can grow a louder vibration when conditions are right, yet we know it will entropy naturally as conditions become ‘not right’, the inevitable.  It’s why we have a multibillion dollar plastic surgery industry, why some try to freeze their bodies, and why we spend fifty billion dollars of our health care budget with valiant efforts to stop this process, trying to save people during the last two months of their lives.

So what to do?  We can hide behind myth that’s clearly out of step with our contemporary ‘knowing’.  We can numb ourselves with media consciousness shaping, glued to the TV for hours.  We can immerse ourselves into the spectator sports world.  We can join an organization dedicated to the belief that change can be stopped and we can become very angry as a result.  We can numb ourselves with various addictions that temporarily comfort us only to bring us further from our life vibrancy.  We can pursue increasing amounts of pleasure and consumption, only to realize the happiness is fleeting and the collateral damage very painful.  We can try to escape our awareness to the demise of heath care and education at the expense of morally exempt capitalism and militarism.   In effect, we can retreat from participation in stewarding the unified vibration because it hurts too much.

With courage, we can hold the curious mind.  We can ask the deeper, heart driven questions.  We can study those who’ve gone before with a sense of deep stewardship to those who will follow, knowing that we can never be ‘disconnected’.  We strike the bell.  We can all sense it, but some of us don’t hear it.  We’re too busy or too distracted.  Yet, the bell sounds and the vibration dissipates.  Yet, our deeper awareness takes great care in slowing our perception of the dissipated energy.  The music is alive.  Time and occasion, outside the realm of our known three dimensions, outside notions of beginning and ending.

The vibration is here and always will be here, penetrating all things.  Awareness is our security. Participating in the art of taking care is our action.  Home. Free. Free at last.  Vibration…Just Be it.

It’s been said our attachments to a sense of ‘correctness’ grow our suffering and diminish our happiness.  It also seems that what we put attention to grows stronger.  So how does this play when learning a new skill set?  With proper attention to correct form our growth accelerates and we more easily remove obstacles to deepening our practice of a particular field of study.  Without proper initial instruction we may ignore correct form and place more and more attention to doing something that becomes an obstacle to deepening our practice.  We may develop a limiting habit obstructing our growth, simply because we’re placing more and more attention to incorrect form.  This has become a problem in our more liberated society where almost anything goes in the name of freedom.  Yet, we can see that real talent deepens with a resolve to disciplined practice under the guidance of a teacher well versed in proper form.  The illusion is that great talent just happens.  For sure, some have greater aptitude to develop skills in certain areas.  Yet, anyone who’s achieved greatness has a long history of associating with masters of form dedicated to precision on the road to style and liberation.

We’re born in harmony and rhythm, with a deep felt connection to all that’s around us.  And then we’re exposed to form.  There’s a correct way to do things.  We put attention to movement, we study how others move, we learn the structure of language, and we deepen our sense of connection with those in our presence.  Much of this is “pre-wired” and at some point we wish to explore a specialized skill. Anyone watching American Idol tryouts can see how we’ve lost our attention to discipline and form.  Contestants show up for audition with no previous discipline and instruction to singing.  Correct form is missing as they fail to find the harmony and rhythm of the song.  Correct form is necessary to find that felt sense of connection in the rhythm and harmony of life.  A lack of regard to form results in dissonance, a separation from harmony and rhythm, and suffering to those in its presence.

I once had a teacher working with me on proper form for meditation.  After years, the instruction became more and more subtle, forever directing me to correct bad habits, improper form.  Slight adjustments were made and when, after long sittings, my shoulders rose, he’d wake me to proper form with a loud crack of a stick on my shoulder.  Proper form is good because it requires our full attention.  With deepening practice, dedicated to proper form and one hundred per cent attention, we find our ‘best’.  Put another way, our dedicated practice allows us to face our tendency to separate from awareness to form and eventual ‘flow’.  This ‘flow’, ‘in the zone’ experience is once again touching the depth of nature’s harmony and rhythm.  It is the deep felt experience of connection, of our interdependence with all things.  Eventually we reach a level of performance where we disappear, no longer separated from our instrument, teammates, audience, environment, etc.   This place, achieved through deep attention to correct form, is a place of distinctive quality recognizable to all in it’s presence.  The individual’s vowed attention to deepening inspires us all to a felt sense of interconnection, touching Big Hope.  It’s a ‘feeling’ that relieves us from our suffering, from our sense of separation.  The creative artist’s deep work has given us a taste of the joined response.  This brief taste is the core of Just Be it and recognized as quality.  Good teachers recognize bad form as an obstacle to learning and know how to break the obstacles created from bad habit.  Good teachers know how to nurture the student’s passion, once again igniting the fire that needs no wood.  And good teachers know it may not be helpful to waste time on those students who refuse to dedicate to a deepening practice of proper form.  Learning correct form is difficult and uncomfortable.  However, once learned, it’s the foundation to finding comfort in the uncomfortable, the ingredient necessary to wrap around the uncertainty inevitable in the next level of performance.

A basic premise of ancient spiritual teachings and contemporary physics is that “everything changes and everything is connected”.  Some have called this the tension between the law of impermanence (The Second Law of Thermodynamics) and the Law of Interdependence (Everything affects everything).  The joy we find in our lives can be directly related to our capacity to face the uncertainty of change and our cultivation of the ‘feeling’ of being joined.  While greed, ignorance and fear continually work us to feelings of separation, we’re repeatedly challenged to move past the temptation to separate.  In what seems to be accelerated change, the illusions of things not changing has been shattered.  A few conservative talk/TV hosts and politicians receive popularity by playing to people’s desires to ‘the way things were’.  In the face of a rapidly changing economy, facing challenges to meet change in globalization, immigration and stewardship to the planet, their responses to facing the uncertainty of the future are simply a child’s scream of “No, I don’t want to go there”.  Yet, the train’s moving and it’s moving faster than ever before.  And so we tend to polarize on our willingness to meet change and uncertainty, creating the unproductive stalemate in our mind’s separation from one another.

So where do we get our ‘feeling’ of connection?  How big or small is it?  My childhood focused on family, church and the community.  There was a sense that the authority within my circles of belonging had the answers to change and uncertainty.  It was simply a matter of belief.  I carried a peace in thinking we didn’t need to drill deeper in our curiosity about impermanence and interdependence.  This was not helpful when facing the rapidly changing social climate of the late ’60’s and early ’70’s.  My ‘feeling’ of separation grew as the foundation of most authoritative beliefs was shattered by observation.  The lack of congruity of action to belief was too big and I temporarily separated from my history, simply denying my beliefs rather that taking it as challenge to dig deeper.  My sense of security had been replaced by the realities of uncertainty.  My sense of connection had been replaced by an angered sense of separation.

It’s been a long road back, forever challenging my mind’s temptation to stop, to hold out on the surface, deflecting the depths of life.  Yet, life happens.  People die, suffering doesn’t go away, and conditions present us directly in the midst of uncertainty and our total interdependence.  It becomes a continual battle between willingness to explore or sliding back to the obstacles I grow in preventing a spiritual deepening.  Some of us try to grow our sense of belonging through technological advancements, working every social network we can.  Others define a sense of belonging by number of returned text messages.  Our media seems to push our sense of success and belonging in definitions from dollar worth.  And all the way we seem to be losing our real capacity to connect with one another as ourselves.

The real litmus test for one’s ‘felt’ sense of interconnection can be seen in the level of curiosity.  The love carried forward is evidenced by one’s genuine desire to go deeper through skilled listening.  It seems more and more rare to find those willing to break beyond the veils and obstacles of ‘busyness’ and ‘fear’.  While it seems safer and easier to lock into our safe routine and fixed beliefs, eventually life presents the challenge to drill deeper.  Whether in sickness, injury, job loss, natural disaster or any other upset that pulls the rug from our sense of security, we eventually meet the choice of digging deeper, burying our head in the sand, or swimming upstream against the laws of nature.  At some point we come to see our health is dependent on other’s health.  Our depth of being is dependent upon others’ depth of being.  Our spiritual security is dependent upon other’s spiritual security.  Our capacity to show up, pay attention and be our best is  dependent upon others showing up, paying attention and being their best.  In short, our best is found in breaking the barrier between you and me, us and them, as we arrive to a bigger belonging.  We come home to the ‘felt’ sense of our connection through Big Hope, not pollyanna wishes for things to be different than they are.  They just are and can we meet the very ‘is-ness’ of this moment in loving gratitude for one another?  Can we openly explore our differences in search of our similarities, touching the essence of our interdependence?  Can we connect with our perceived enemies through the simple courage of asking, “Can you tell me more as I try to stand in your shoes for a moment?”.  Can we acknowledge that perception is deception, that the problem is never what we think it is?  Can we breath in “yes” to the rare opportunity to meet in this moment, breathing out “thank you” for our courage to participate?  In review of the day, can we be specific about actions, thoughts and speech taken to move to deeper joining?  Can we honestly review those areas where we’ve contributed to harm, feeding feelings of separation?  Can we humble our selves, pledging to aim away from thoughts of judgment and opinion?  Can we raise ourselves to be the mountain in the face of uncertainty, forever willing, ready and able to show up in full attention, aiming to be our best?  Can we cultivate gratitude and big sense of belonging, standing in the consequent feeling of joy?s

A life well-lived is about removing obstacles and going deeper.  Simply put, it’s about ‘doing our best by being our best’.  Lasting quality and happiness come from the ground of our being, not from acquiring the good approval of others.  Yet, our culture seems to place great value to ‘best’ in relation to the defeat of others.  To the extent we can overcome another, defeat another, or somehow win at another’s expense, we place our values of excellence.  Yet, when we look deeper, it’s really a matter of ‘full presence’.  It’s about removing obstacles to meeting the present moment in full attention to the arising moment and our interconnection with it.  Within this realm of experience, we must first ‘show up’, ‘pay attention’, ‘do/be our best, and let go our expectations of outcome without abandoning our confidence and gratitude for the opportunity to participate.

Showing up means deep listening to what our heart draws us to.  It’s waking up from the cultural sleep induced from TV, spectator sports, drugs, alcohol, and other addictions that remove us from ‘presence’.  It’s about quieting the mental chatter to deepen that to which we’re drawn.  It’s about aiming to maintain attention in our actions and non-actions.  It’s about touching just past the edge of performance, deepening to our ‘best’ rather than regressing or settling for a plateau.

Our ‘best’ is not an ego driven action.  It’s entry into the field of universal energy where we fully embrace the moment’s continuous arising moment, 100% here and now, obstacles of thought and emotion removed, entering the realm of Big Hope.  Doing our best requires full attention, no multitasking, no mind wandering, and tremendous dedication of mindfulness practice.

A dedicated meditation practice is generally requisite to consistent ‘best’ performance.  It’s the training we need to fully arrive to the arising moment.  The mind wants to put us in thoughts of comparative performance, of past and future, of better or worse, beginning and ending, enough and not enough, etc.  Yet, the quality of ‘best’ transcends this to the unknown, beyond thought and the verbal.

Science has now shown that we’re just air…that everything has no concrete substance…even concrete.  Yet, when conditions were right, we somehow manifested into these bodies and eventually developed a sense of self-consciousness, developing a sense of mattering.  Many claim this ego happens with the cognitive stage of what’s been called ‘object permanence’.  This is recognized when you show an object to an infant, and when it’s taken away, they track to see where it’s gone, looking behind an obstacle to find it.  Up to this point (the first half year of life), if it’s out of direct experience, it’s gone.  You can show them the cutest rattle and when it’s taken away they’re on to the next perceptual experience.  In essence, when the ‘matter’ is taken from site, it simply didn’t ‘matter’.  It’s really quite a divine place to be and something many spiritual teachers espouse as a path to lasting happiness.  So what happens?

It seems that before we conclude that we’re separate, we live a wonderful life of being nobody, unaffected by ‘not mattering’ as long as our biological needs are met.  This level of consciousness is very rich and it’s why I relish the look of seven month old eyes.   Their gaze is intimate as they see you as not being separate from them.  And then, what many call a ‘pre-wired’ condition, we develop a sense of separateness (subject vs. object), the dualism of language and thought grows, and we work the rest of our lives stepping into our self consciousness, otherwise known as our ego or identity.  With the right support, we eventually develop a sense of mattering.  We’re driven to ‘make a difference’, ‘find our purpose’, ‘change the world’, ‘be the best’, ‘make the most’, and on and on it goes.  Yet, none of us escapes the doubt.  We’re continually looking for validation to our ‘mattering’.  We ask, “Am I enough?”, “Do you like me?”, “Am I good or better than the other?”, “Did I win?” and so it goes.  If we’ve grown our power over others through our material wealth or position, we will be surrounded by those who say we ‘matter’.  We’ve concluded that our success depends upon others’ approval.  And then we realize that our ‘mattering to them’ is conditional.  We somehow know that a lasting happiness can’t result from continual search from others for our sense of mattering.  Maybe if we get more power, more fame, more money, more friends, more recognition…then…then we’ll reach complete happiness.  And yet, if you’ve lived enough years you eventually discover that you simply can’t find lasting happiness through your notions of being ‘somebody’.  So how can we nurture a sense of well-being…a sense for having ‘lived the good life’, somehow ‘mattering’?

There is a sugar buzz high from giving to others and from feeling good about helping someone.  Yet, the real test of lasting happiness is found in how well we handle another’s rejection of our giving or helping.  How solid are we when we step forward, in hopes of feeding relationships, expressing how another matters to us, only to have it denied, rejected or ignored?  What happens to our sense of ‘mattering’ when the rest of the world seems to have a different view?  Previous cultures honored the elderly and used them as a valuable resource for wisdom circles.  Their life experience mattered.  Our American culture takes a different view, growing nursing homes and retirement communities.  Those who last in Congress have accumulated tremendous power and sometimes develop a deeper awareness to the stewardship of our country.  Sen. Kennedy and Sen. Byrd are two that come to mind.  Their sense of mattering seems to have come from the heart.  They both seemed to carry a deep sense of connection with more than their self interest.  The results of their ‘mattering’ will live in my heart as long as I’m matter.  And isn’t this all we can do…aim to be the best we can in alignment to our heart’s desire simply because we’ve been given the opportunity to participate?  It’s a movement beyond our limited self-consciousness.  It’s movement from feeling separate to feeling connected, from nobody to somebody to somebody else. We had lost contact with that ‘feeling’ of connection known previously as an infant.  And now, with that feeling rediscovered, we come to experience all things as us in what Buber called the “I-Thou” relationship.  The insecurity of living as somebody lessons as we move to this new ground. We’re much easier about insisting that we have the right answers.  We’re more courageous and willing to explore deeper questions.  We know that we matter, even when others don’t seem to think we do.  And when we’re no longer matter, we’re at peace with our life and the actions taken while we were in this functioning body.  We’ve paid attention to mindful speech, thought, action…taking care to leave a result that some day may matter.

So outside beginnings and endings, we all matter.  We’re connected and it’s just our realization of it that varies.  The extent to which we cling to our notions of being Somebody will determine the harm we’ve done.  The extent to which we’ve loved others as ourselves, particularly our enemies, will determine our contribution.  Belief systems that limit our level of belonging will cause harm.  Belief systems operating in unlimited circles of belonging will nurture our health.  God (Love) is a circle whose center is everywhere, whose circumference is infinite.  In short, the circle has no sides; everything matters.  While it’s difficult as we age and our matter dissipates along with our sense of ‘mattering’, our solidity and lasting happiness comes from this capacity to be in the infinite circle, outside notions of right and wrong, judgment, doing and non doing, having and not having, and artificial boundary.

Heart…Just Be it.

Soul…Just Be it.

Love…Just Be it.

Joy…Just Be it.

Grateful for the gift of opportunity to participate, in relief to know we all matter, no matter what, even when we’re no longer matter.  Poof….somebody else.  So what really happened to the caterpillar?  Did the wave disappear when it crashed on the shore?

So where do you find your security?  Isn’t it when and where, here and now, you’re in the full embrace of all that’s contributed to your being you?  Isn’t it when you can move from any feelings of separateness to the full, complete, felt sense of wholeness, even when everything seems to be going wrong?  Isn’t this a space that stands completely outside the realm of belief, attachment, and restlessness?  Real security is spiritual, accepting all that is within this moment, yet participating fully to our opportunity to ‘take care’ of this moment as we’re taking care of the universe.  In essence, real security is love without boundary and condition.  Real security gives us courage to be curious.  Real security lets us stand like a mountain when the earthquake happens, secure in the ground of our Being, outside time and space, breathing in ‘Yes’ to life and increased awareness, breathing out ‘Thank you’ for the opportunity provided within the arising moment of the next breath.

Solid…Just Be it

Mountain…Just Be it

“How do you live in this complicated reality?  How do you face the moment when the earthquake suddenly happens?  How do you handle yourself in a moment that is beyond your control?  When a moment appears, there is only one thing that controls you: the capability that comes from your spiritual practice, your ability to face impermanence and deal calmly with the conditions of every moment.  So, before the earthquake happens, before your mind starts to work and you want to run away, accept every moment as an opportunity presented to you to practice facing reality as it really is.  When a moment arises, you don’t know the reason why it exists, but you have to accept it and face it, whatever happens.

You have to do your best to face every moment, because this moment will never come again.  The moment that you are living right now is a very important opportunity to make your life vividly alive.  If you want to live with spiritual security in the midst of constant change, you have to burn the flame of your life force in everything you do.

When you play sports, work at your job, write a poem, or whatever it is that you do, that is an opportunity to burn the flame of your life energy.

When you forget yourself and put your wholehearted effort into facing every moment, you can do something, and simultaneously you can rest in the continuous flow of life energy.  Then you really enjoy life.” from Each Moment is the Universe by Katagiri Roshi

Understanding the ‘present moment’ requires an examination of how we look at time, in particular, our grasping of impermanence and interconnection. Katagiri expresses it this way:

“…the way is produced by impermanence and interdependent co-origination.  What produces impermanence and interdependent origination?  That is time and occasion.  Time and occasion are nothing but the activity of time, which is called time arising.  What produces time and occasion?  According to Buddhist philosophy it is emptiness, but Dogen says it is just arising only.  That is a more positive way of understanding it.  Emptiness, arising only, means that real time is completely beyond time as an idea you can discuss.  Time is identical with action, motion, or energy.  There is nothing to hold on to, because everything in the universe exists as arising only.    p. 33

…you cannot understand it (way) objectively because to understand real life is to be one with it.  This is not only Buddhist teaching; this is life.  For example, if you want to be a cross-country skier, you can objectively understand what cross-country skiing is through research, but to understand skiing perfectly you have to go skiing.  At that time the root of the way is dynamically working and you can become one with skiing.

Oneness with skiing is possible because everything lies in the one source of existence and is unified there.  This is the place that is called Buddha or universal consciousness or whatever you say.  This is the place where you are.  The root of the way is present with you wherever you may go, constantly working freely in peace and harmony, so you can always use it.  All you have to do is just tune in and accept it.  That’s why we practice zazen and try to refine consciousness of our minds.  This way of practice is not based on trying to do something good and getting a reward.  The final purpose of this practice is to leave no trace of individual experience.  How do you do this?  It depends on the attitude you take from moment to moment.” p. 44 Each Moment is the Universe

This may be why Tolle says our most important relationship is the one we have with this present moment.

Brother David says we’re to fill with the ‘feeling’ of gratefulness, moment to moment, for the sheer opportunity to participate.  Understanding time as action, motion or energy, it’s a moving thing to be engaged in with full attention, in harmony and rhythm to the way, doing our best, but releasing any “trace of individual experience”.  Could this be where we find our humility and our courage, standing solid as the mountain in the face of impermanence and inter-Being (interdependent co-origination)?

This has been ‘working me’ a lot lately.  How can I stand solid, in joy, facing deteriorating conditions?  It seems we’re in a culture lacking the courage to face the present in concern for a well stewarded future.  We want to nourish the seeds of the positive, accept the existence of the negative, and compassionately move to giving our best in participation to healing that which we have harmed.  And we face the inevitable dissipation of energy (entropy; Second Law of Thermodynamics).  Can we accept what “is” in peace and yet, have the courage to dedicate in stewardship to the art of taking care of this moment, knowing it’s our best shot at taking care of the future for coming generations (beings we’re interconnected with outside our notions of time and space)?  Or do we go to sleep?  Or worse, do we actively work to feed the poison of denial, joining the ranks who deny science and our impact on the planet and one another?

This moment is so precious.  I hate to let it go, and yet, I can’t capture it.  I can only hope I’ve met it well, awake to the gift of what was there, if only glimpsed in its arising.

In everyday life you cannot always regulate and harmonize your body and mind.  The “ only thing you can regulate and harmonize is you attitude.  When you take the proper attitude toward your activity—zazen, skiing, or whatever it is—simultaneously, beyond your human effort, refined practice comes up and there is a total dynamic working between you and your object.”

Day after day, moment after moment, just take care of practice, leaving no trace of technique and no trace of practitioner.  This is a very fundamental attitude toward human life.  If you do, finally you will be great: a great skier, a great artist, a great musician, a great poet, a great philosopher, a great businessman, or a great religious person.

There is final verification. “Here I am!”  That’s all.  That is completely wonderful.  That is final proof of you life.  You feel alive!  There’s nothing to say, but you feel good.  It’s more than feeling good, it’s feeling that your life is worth living.”  p. 36

Poof…no longer addicted to approval, control, security and power.

Deepok Chopra’s The Ultimate Happiness Prescription describes it as follows:

“One side of the coin is that we crave approval because it bolsters our self-image.  The other side is that we fear disapproval because it diminishes our self-image.  All of this is known as object-referral, which means that you identify with objects outside yourself.  The opposite of object-referral is self-referral, which means you identify with your true being, entirely an inner experience.  True being has five qualities, none of which is created by external events, or other people:

1. Your true being is connected to all that exists.
2. It has no limitations.
3. It has infinite creativity.
4. It is fearless, and willing to step into the unknown.
5. Intention from the level of being is powerful, and can orchestrate synchronicity (a perfect meshing of outside circumstances to bring about your intention).”

‘Just Be it’ is a phrase aimed to true being, breaking the barrier of dualistic object referral.  There’s great peace, joy, confidence, and harmony in facing the unknown, meeting the surprise of the arising moment…even in what appears to be deteriorating conditions.

This is hard work.  It takes tremendous resolve.  Our mind says we’ve worked hard enough and it’s time for mindless, unaware activity.  Maybe have a beer or two, eat a chocolate or ten, watch TV, smoke a joint, daydream, text or phone or whatever we do to step away from the moment’s arising in momentary pleasure.  But it’s always there, the arising moment.  It never stops, as hard as we may try to believe it does, with our notions of retirement, victim, death, winning, etc.  Science now validates our inter-Being and the reality of continuous change.  The harmony and rhythm of the universe is better understood as technology advances.  Yet, we step from our awareness in denial to the song and dance arising in front of us, traveling at greater speeds of mindlessness.

“I am though you so I” ee cummings

“Our awareness itself is a fathomless mystery” Brother David

“I am the manifestation of the unmanifested” Jesus

“The greatest thing happening in our time is that we’re taking down this theistic God from the limitation of being somebody else…we’re totally embedded” Brother David

“When conditions are right they manifest, when they aren’t they don’t” Buddha

With regards to “Difficulty”, I wrote this in 2003 after studying with Brother David Steindl Rast:

Difficulty

It’s more difficult to be a meadow on a mountaintop than on the plains.

It’s more difficult to live as a wave in a pond than an ocean.

It’s more difficult to be a mountain on it’s own (volcano) than one within a full range.

It’s more difficult to live a live driven by common sense and true being when surrounded by extremists.

It’s more difficult to live a life of peace when surrounded by those finding joy in violence.

These insights came to me when flying at thirty-five thousand feet, returning to Minnesota from California.  Flying over the landscape I had a much deeper felt sense for the ‘fractal’, how cellular energy tended to manifest in like ways, where the texture duplicates under influence of the energy around it.  Moving from ‘Difficulty’ to the power of intention, I wrote the following:

If you want to be of integrity,

Be around people of integrity.

If you want to fill your body with toxic foods,

Surround yourself with toxic foods.

If you want to be physically fit,

Be around people that are physically fit.

If you want to smoke,

Be around people that smoke.

If you don’t want to smoke,

Don’t be around people that smoke.

If you want your children to be grateful,

Surround them with grateful people.

If you want your kids to be expressive,

Surround them with expressive people.

If you want close minded children steeped in a strong belief system,

Surround your children with closed minded people steeped in strong belief systems.

If you want children open to receive a deeper question,

Surround them with people curious to explore a deeper question.

If you want children of fear,

Surround them with fear driven people.

If you want courageous children,

Surround them with courageous people.

If you want to be angry,

Be around angry people, listen to angry music, and watch angry TV

If you want attention,

Be around people that want attention.

If you want to be square,

Be around square people.

If you want to feel abundance,

Be around people that feel abundance.

If you want to hold on to the feeling of victim,

Be around those who hold the feeling of victim.

And in the end, all we can do is ask, “Is it working for you?  Is this the quality of live you want?”  We all have to answer this for ourselves, outside notions of righteousness.  And yet, when I look at nature and see all the “unique communities”, I can see I want to be around a community where people celebrate life, live without fear, in a sense of stewardship to the earth, one another, the cosmos…in full joy and wonder for the mystery.  I want to be around “awake” people.  And so it goes:

If you want to be a scavenger or a parasite,

Be around those who are scavengers and parasites.

If you want to appreciate the value in seeing the big through the small,

Be around people who appreciate seeing the big through the small.

If you want to erode your character and talents,

Be around those who erode their character and talents.

If you want to be sick,

Be around those who whine about their injury or sickness.

If you want to be strong,

Be around those people able to be hope in the healing to their suffering.

If in your life journey you become lost, and if you meet with an obstacle, be on the look out for more of the same.

Look at the clouds and see how they assemble as a family

And as we come to experience our tribe

Can we hold the ‘‘feeling’ of a bigger belonging

Never separate from those we’ve failed to meet from fear

For their difference or apparent weakness?

When I look into your eyes

It’s when I see my heart

It let’s me see myself

I know we’re never apart

I know I can’t hold on

I’ve got to let you be free

And then I clear my heart

For all eternity

Love is

Paying attention

Answering the door.

Giving it my best, in wholehearted action

Joy and happiness

Deeply listening, here and now

Touching silence

For Our World

Mattie J.T. Stepanek

September 12, 2001

We need to stop

Just stop

Stop for a moment

Before anybody

Says or does anything

That may hurt anyone else

We need to be silent

Just silent

Silent for a moment

Before we forever lose

The blessing of songs

That grow in our hearts

We need to notice

Just Notice

Notice for a moment

Before the future slips away

Into ashes and dust of humility

Stop, be silent, and notice

In so many ways, we are the same.

Out differences are unique treasures

We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts

To nurture, to offer, to accept

We need to be

Just Be.

Be for a moment

Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting

Like children and lambs

Never judging or vengeful

Like the judging and vengeful

Differently, yet together,

Before there is no earth, no life,

No chance for peace

And now, let us pray

Differently, yet together,

Yesterday we celebrated Buddha’s enlightenment 2439 years ago.  The word, Buddha, comes from the root of “to wake up”.  During this season celebrations around the world abound across a multitude of cultures and religions, all touching our deeper desire to connect with one another as we break darkness with light,  stirring our sleep with greater awareness and awakening.  We celebrated with morning meditations starting at 4:30, followed by silent conscious outdoor walking as we moved to the Mississippi River in search of the morning star.  The many Christmas lights and the moon served as our light in this early morning hour.  We touched a bigger hope in appreciation to our total connection with everything.  We later celebrated this day with our practice group at Rush City state prison.  We honored the lineage of our teachers, the effectiveness of the teachings in pointing us to a way for lasting happiness.  We discussed the difficulties of the season in a prison setting and how this practice can relieve suffering through a deeper sense of interconnection that breaks the boundaries of the prison wall.  In meditation, the men were directed to simply be aware of breathing in, and then aware of breathing out.  They were led in using the breath as a tool to return to the present moment, unbinding them from the thoughts generating their suffering.  The men spoke to the peace found through this practice expressing their gratitude for freedoms they didn’t know were possible in their setting.

We all bind ourselves in thought.  This limitation causes suffering.  Jesus and the Buddha taught us to relieve this suffering through ‘letting go’, through conscious forgiveness and compassion.  They both changed the world by shedding light on our interconnection with all people and things.  The message was simple, “Love one another as you love yourself”, “Forgive others for your perceived harm as you’d have them forgive you”, and align your actions with your heart for conscious, humble, mindful living in stewardship to body/mind/spirit, family, community, nation and planet.  Jesus brought light through the parable, drawing upon his listeners’ heart felt inner authority as he challenged them to their own truth.  Neither commanded their followers from a position of superiority.  They simply spoke from the light of love, forgiveness and gratitude, forever asking why we don’t behave as we know we must.  They spoke to the poisons of greed, ignorance and fear, to the darkness that engulfs us when numbed in awareness to our true heart’s desire.  They spoke to a lasting joy found within the present moment’s awareness.  They spoke to a joy that couldn’t be taken away, one that would not be dependent upon externals, a lasting happiness found in gratitude for the very gift of the given.  Outside of desire and attachment to past events or anxiety about future events, there’s a place of deep peace.  This is prayer for never ending joy, a deeper meditation touching the felt sense of our connection with all, beyond any notions of birth or death, right or wrong, etc.

In this season so often filled with anxiety for events that may not turn as expected, may we follow their advice and light the candle of love, forgiveness, and gratitude, diminishing the poisons of greed, ignorance and fear?  May we lay down our ego’s desire to be ‘right’, to judge, to persuade another to change to ‘our way’ as we find courage to just sit in joy for the very gift of being?  In this space, we’re solid.  In this space we grow courage and curiosity.  In this space we unbind ourselves from limiting barriers. In this space we speak less and listen more. In this space we’re not afraid to touch or be touched in loving compassion for one another.  In this space, in honor to Buddha and Jesus, we shine our light.