The real test of our ‘being’ can be a deeper looking at what we do and what we say.  Can we review our actions and words of the day and assess what was joining and what was separating?  Can we see where our level of ‘joining’ stopped?  Perhaps you felt very ‘joined’ with your church congregation during a Sunday service, but separated from those of a different religious belief system?  Perhaps you felt very ‘joined’ with members in your local community, but very separated from those in communities far away?  It seems as though we’re continually being worked to experience a larger sense of belonging as we face global climate issues, rapid economic change, global culture immigration and integration, and massive technological/communication advances.  We have a choice to move to ‘joining’ or ‘separating’, to accept others as ‘us’ in all of our apparent difference or to resist others as ‘us’, holding firm to our cultural belief systems and notions of ‘rightness’.

Ancient spiritual wisdom commands us to accept our enemy as ‘us’.  We’re told to move to the highest level of belonging, transcending our bias and judgment of others, embracing one another with a larger sense of joining.  The level of heart knowing lives here, in this more inclusive space that knows no boundaries.  This is very difficult work, particularly when we perceive threat and consequent feelings of fear.  Is the cancer cell in my body a ‘joined’ member of my community?  Is Osama bin Laden a ‘joined’ member of my community?  Do I carry a weapon to fight those who I perceive as threatening?  In essence, am I moving in love to a larger ‘joining’ or in fear to further separation?

I’m now almost sixty.

They say that’s when a life lived well brings one to elderhood.

Well, if anyone’s interested, here’s my ‘used to, but now’ reflection.

I used to think there were answers, now I find there’s just deeper questions

I used to think my job was to fix things, now I find it’s to be present and listen

I used to think I was right and my job was to change others to think like me

Now I find it’s better to meet in the field between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’

I used to hate being alone, now I find I’m never alone

I used to think I owned things, now I find I never did and never will

I used to think the good approval of friends and family made me better

Now I find it’s all up to me to make me (us) better

I used to hate it when I reached out to others and received no reply

Now I work to accept it

I used to be sloppy in my speech, now I learn it’s better to be quiet

I used to hold my speech in difficult situations, now I learn to listen deeply with my heart

To polish the meaning and purpose of what I say

I used to become angry with my enemies, now I learn they’re my gift for going deeper

I used to take things for granted, now I know nothing’s to be taken for granted

I used to think I was nobody, now I know I’m somebody

I used to think I was somebody, now I know I’m somebody else

I used to think God was ‘up there’, now I feel God everywhere

I used to think there was a goal, now I ‘feel’ there’s just the journey

I used to be filled with ambition, now I’m filled with duty to honor grace given

From where does my action or seeming inaction come from?  If I perceive threat from another desiring me to conform to their desire, what’s the shape of my resistance or allowance?  How can I cause the least harm to them as me or me as them?  In all instance, when my wisdom to act arises from the heart there’s a strong chance for positive result.  Contrarily, when I react from fear, or when my non-doing is fear based, the result is more likely to have an unpleasant result.

Are there any guarantees?  Absolutely not.  Yet, when we commit to the process of love and awakened ‘doing’ outside the realm of duality, we find that compassion and deeper listening are keys to diffusing potential threat.  This dedication to our interdependence upon one another sponsors our courage to show up, pay attention in awakened doing, responsibly do our best, and most importantly, to be easy on ourselves when things don’t turn out as we expected.

This is learning to live a life of love without grasping.  It’s knowing the elements support us…the ground, air, water, and fire.  It’s knowing there’s someone else inside of us that carries the wisdom of loving action, in harmony and rhythm to the flow of life.  The residence for this wisdom is in the heart, not the head or stomach.  Some have called this nonviolent mindfulness.  It’s a space of compassion,  where when I look in your eyes I experience me.  It’s a space of forgiveness, where I’m open to the completeness of the arising moment, no matter what comes up.  It’s a space of gratitude, where I’m forever aware that this form I carry is gift and all moments are surprise and gifts arising.

Trust no one, since it places expectation on another and leads to inevitable disappointment.  Love everyone.  Trust your heart’s knowing as you trust the universe.