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Mindful ‘Being’ Relationships
Published on 20/11/08
by randy
Brothers...Just Be It
Today’s relational focus seems to violate the notion that ‘we are each other’, a notion that’s been repeatedly expressed through ancient spiritual wisdom and now in science. We can ‘feel’ this need to surrender to understanding. Just Be It provides several opportunities to study and train in the dialog process.
Listening Skills Training: Participants will study the art of nonjudgmental listening and apply this skill in role play and real situations relevant to their need. Whether in family or business relationships, skilled active listening technique is a science that demands repeated training for effectiveness in collaborative efforts and conflict resolution. Given that violence begins where listening stops, effective listening training may be the most potent path to harmony and peace. Nonjudgmental listening from the heart is the center in moving from monologue to dialogue.
Check the calendar for training times.
Circle Process: This is an ancient from of group communication that quickly moves a group from shallow to deeper conversation. Group members determine a topic of relevance and agree to the following guidelines:
- Acceptance: suspend judgment as best you can
- Curiosity: seek to understand rather than persuade
- Discovery: question old assumptions, look for new insights
- Sincerity: speak for yourself about what has personal heart and meaning
- Brevity: go for honesty and depth but don’t go on and on
- Open-mindedness: listen to and respect all points of view
This group conversational process generally follows the following sequence:
Preparation: The host will have nametags, paper and pencil (for note taking), an object (something symbolic or just handy) that is held by the person speaking, and optionally a centerpiece.
Welcome: The host welcomes everyone, states the theme for the group, reads the agreements, sets an ending time, and maybe calls for a moment of silence to relax, reflect and become open.
Round one: Each person speaks in turn, going around the circle once. Each person holds the talking object while they speak. During this round, everyone says their name and speaks briefly about what is on their minds regarding the theme. Anyone may pass if they don’t want to speak. Everyone is asked to express themselves fully yet succinctly, allowing time for others to speak. No feedback or response.
Round two: Now that everyone has been introduced, the group goes around the circle again. If someone wants to respond to another’s remarks, they can do so in their own turn. Each person holds the talking object. To allow more time for conversation, keep remarks brief, possibly just naming the theme or subjects you want to delve into more deeply. Again, no feedback or response.
Spirited Dialogue: Now the conversation opens up and people can speak in no particular order. This conversation will take up most of the time. If there is domination, contention, or lack of focus, the host may suggest that the group again use the talking object. Keep in mind the agreements.
Closing: A few minutes before the end, the host will ask everyone to go around the circle again, giving each a chance to say briefly what they are taking away from the conversation.
Musicians: Periodically, jam sessions are directed through the procedures of circle process, using instruments rather than linguistics.
The circle process lasts sixty minutes when a speaker is scheduled and ninety minutes when there is no speaker.
“If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationship – the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together and work together in the same world, at peace.”
–President Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures. And however undramatic the pursuit of peace, the pursuit must go on.”
–President John F. Kennedy
Check the calendar for themes and times.
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